It feels like such a long time ago when we first met and in many ways it truly is. So much has happened since 1986 it is hard to remember the actual day you befriended me. I know it was sometime during my rookie year. Perhaps it was that day we were all hanging out down at the ambulance coprs, the day you had that little heart-to-heart talk with my girlfriend. That was the day you told her to treat me right and not hurt me. That was the day I saw a friend emerge and the day you became my older sister.
The years continued to roll on by and you and I would share the good and bad in each of our lives. We even fought like brother and sister! But through it all, you were always there whenever I needed it. You were my "go to" sister who worked her magic to help others. Your ability to give, your desire to help others was perhaps your greatest attribute and at times your biggest fault. You had a thing for fires, always running into burning buildings ensuring noone was left inside. We kidded you about this, but it was only because we all loved you and never wanted to see you get hurt. You were there the day I got promoted. You were happy for me that day but I saw a slight pain in your eye. You wanted those stripes so much you began to break my chops about how I stole them from you! As your friend, I secretly hoped that one day you too would get promoted. I would have helped prepare had I been able to nail you to the ground long enough for you to study. However, your inner desire to help others kept you from doing that. Perhaps God knew you would make a better PBA delegate than supervisor. Still I never gave up hope. I never told you but I had a set of Sergeant stripes saved with your name on it. I hoped to present them to you one day and see your face light up with joy.
April 17, 2003 was the day God took you away from us. I was off and getting ready to relax before going to bed when the phone rang. It was my mother-in-law calling in a panic. You see she had just heard that two Fair Lawn Officers were shot, and she wanted to make sure it was not me. As I raced around getting dressed, seconds felt like hours. For the life of me, I couldn't remember who was working that night. I knew it was our shift, "C" platoon, and the shooting probably involved the acting road supervisor and and back up officer. I pushed my truck to new a speed record as I raced to work. Oh how I prayed to God that none of my "guys" were seriously hurt. I prayed like I never prayed before for the safety of of "C" platoon who were sent on that fatful call.
It wasn't until I ran into HQ that I learned what had happened to you. Asking if the guys were allright, Bill Yirce our Lieutenant simply, softly and bluntly stated that you had died. It wasn't fair that this had to happen, things like this were not supposed to happen in Fair Lawn. We even joked about how it would never happen, but it did!
From that moment on I went into shut down mode and turned my attention to looking out for our squad. With Easter weekend fast approaching, I was in no mood to celebrate. I had trouble sleeping, didn't want to be around anyone and had a desire to be at work that whole weekend. What kept me going was a desire to keep watch over the guys, to help make sure they were allright and taken care of, the way you would have if the tables had been turned around. It was barely one week from the day you died until the day we buried you yet I felt like I had aged several years.
It's funny how as I grow older, my tolerance for wakes/funerals lessens. Perhaps by attending them, yours included, I am reminded of my own mortality. You died doing what you loved most. With the permission of the guys, I took those saved stripes and placed them besides you in your casket. I hope you get to wear them as you begin your tour of duty with Heaven PD. You deserve them and yes you would have made a great supervisor. You see, part of a supervisor's job is to look out for the "guys," to see them home safe and do your best to protect them from all harm.
You were so many things to so many people one could write a book just on al those little things you did to help others. I enjoyed our motorcycle rides to no where. Those four hour rides we took just for a BBQ sandwich. I see your image in front of me riding that purple motorcyle and I can still hear your voice calling out my name. You always referred to me as Richie. Only close personal friends and family members called me Richie. You were and are still part of my family and I miss you terribly. You finally have back those stripes I "stole" from you. Use them wisely in heaven...it's your move Sergeant!
Love
Richie
Officer's Name: Officer Mary Ann Collura
Officer's Dept.: Fair Lawn PD, Fair Lawn, NJ
End of Watch: 4/17/2003
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